Why I Believe
by Vamay
Summary: A two shot of a little boy trying desperatly to believe in Christmas when no one else seems to really care that Santa isn't coming this year.


**Daniel Mellark**

"Honey?" Mommy's raspy voice directed at me made the tears finally drip down my hot cheeks. My knees wobbled as I stepped toward her, and crawled up the foot of the bed and into her arms. I wrapped my arms around her middle as best as I could and buried my face in her chest. She was warm and calm. Daddy stayed in the doorway.

"What's going to happen?" I ask her. I can't believe how shaky my voice was becoming. Dad had sat me down when the doctor arrived an hour earlier. I was excited, hoping that me and Izzy would be getting checked out again, and a lollipop would be coming our way. Grape was my favorite. He was a kind man, the doctor, and never disappointed me with something like cherry. I can't believe Izzy can stand the stuff- it tasted like cough medicine. The soupy kind that coats your throat in sickening syrup.

"You're going to have a wonderful Christmas with daddy and your sister. You're going to be strong for me, Daniel." Mom whispered.

"What about you mommy?" I echoed her tone. "What do you want for Christmas? Do you want Gale to visit again? Maybe Thomas can visit with his mom. You like them, don't you?" I rambled getting more and more worked up as I went down the list. Mentioning Gale was the hardest. He visited last year and dad didn't seem to like him much, so I don't either.

"No, no. I want you to have a wonderful holiday."

"That's _all_?" I sat up, baffled. How could anyone not want anything for Christmas? I always loved it, and would be fine if she was.

"Come on, Danny." Daddy finally came into the room and plucked me right off the bed and threw me over his shoulder. I looked back at mommy with the saddest feeling that she wasn't going to know if I had a wonderful Christmas at all.

The door closed, and daddy walked me to the kitchen where he got out the ingredients of a peanut butter and jam sandwich. Penny told me at school that jelly was better, but I never believed her.

Dad looked at me with one glance before throwing it together. He set it front of me, and my shoulders dropped. "That isn't how mommy makes it." I tell him bluntly. His blue eyes look hurt, and he rests his elbows on the counter while holding his head in his hands. His yellow hair sticking out from between his fingers.

"I don't know what to do Danny," he gulps.

"There's nothing you can do!" Izzy says from the bottom of the staircase.

"Elizabeth-"

"Don't!" she screams back at him. She has no reason to be mad. Daddy didn't do anything to deserve her to yell at him like that. Tears stream down my sister's face and dad gets up to cup her face in his hands. He whispers something carefully in that tone that means that he needs something. She nods before throwing his hands off of her face.

Izzy takes my hand, and leads me to the closet that keeps all of our winter clothes stored. I wish that daddy could be the one to take me out into the snow, but he is walking towards mommy. I start to follow him, but Izzy tugs me back to slip on my big blue marshmallow coat. She hands me gloves, and my boots while she slips on her own yellow pea coat, and white hat that looks dramatic against her dark hair.

I plop down on the floor, landing a little too hard. Izzy hears the click of my back pocket buttons on the floor and coughs into her hand. I pull my boots on, making my pants bunch but I don't make an effort to fix it since she started tapping her foot anxiously.

When the door opens to the winter wonderland outside, I breathe in the crisp air. Before I can take one step outside, Izzy pushes me out the door not thinking I would slide right down the front steps.

"Oh my god! Danny, are you okay?" She screamed into the late afternoon air. I turn my head to look up at the clouds, snow flakes sticking to my eyelashes. Izzy pulls me to my feet. I can barely balance on the icy walkway as we make our way towards town. I wave to Haymitch as we pass. He's sitting on his porch in a Hawaiian t-shirt, drinking something with a tiny umbrella pocking its head out the top.

"Enjoying the weather Mr. Abernathy?" Izzy called with a smile.

"Like I do every year." Haymitch says grimly despite the half smile on his face. He lifts his drink in some sort of greeting. "You kids wanna come in?"

I nod automatically, but Izzy hesitates. I abandon the hand I was holding and run towards his porch, taking a perch on his railing. Mommy and daddy never let me do that. Izzy makes her way up to the house more slowly, but eventually sits next to Haymitch with a wary smile.

"So, I heard your mum's sick again," he says between sips.

"It's just a cold," I tell him. "She's going to come downstairs on Christmas morning to open presents."

"Did you get her anything?"

"Santa's-"

"Humbug!" Haymitch cuts me off. I don't understand but Izzy giggles a little. "There is no such thing as Santa. Everyone knows that," Haymitch says before spitting something brown into the saucer on his porch.

"That's a lie!" I shout.

"No it isn't," Izzy says looking up at the night sky. "Santa's a myth and you know it. Deep down inside, you know that the big man in red is just a fraud!"

"You're lying…"

"Here Danny, I'll prove it to you!" she says with almost delight. I've found that proving me wrong is one of her favorite activities. Just like last Spring when she proved that the Easter Bunny wasn't real either! It was just mommy and daddy putting out plastic eggs in the meadow at night. Santa was all I had left…

Before I can protest, she has me reeling towards town, slipping and sliding behind her. The lights in Dad's bakery were all turned off until Izzy reached under the mat and pulled out a single silver key.

"Is this allowed?"

"Oh shut up and stop being such a baby!"

I shut up and watched her unlock the front door and light the lantern that was the only light source in the front room. Daddy wanted the bakery to look cozy, or something like that. Izzy pulled me through the doors that lead to the kitchen and up the creaky stairs. Two bedrooms were up there.

"Dad couldn't let go of his parents so he made it all again," Izzy whispered. "Pathetic sob story…"

"Imagine if mommy and daddy went away too? And you were all alone? Wouldn't you want to recreate it too?" I ask her.

"No," she said tussling my hair. "I wouldn't want to recreate all the damage." She stepped into a narrow hallway and into a room with three cramped beds that were sort of in a U shape hugging the walls. There was one table that had scattered papers. Some of them had burned edges, and looked like homework for someone who wanted to mine coal. _I wonder who would want to do that?_ The name at the top was Andrew Mell. Though, I'm sure it used to say more. I brushed my hands across the carful writing that reminded me of my father's.

Izzy pushed past me and opened one of the draws that held piles and piles of letters. I opened one and read it out load as best I could.

_Dear Santa,_

_Daddy is never happy since he has no family. And mommy misses Grandma so much since she wanted to be a doctor somewhere. I guess I don't blame her but I always thought that Christmas was a time to be with family. And the people you love. I have my mommy and daddy here, so I want their family's here too, please. _

_Plus, a doll might be nice too since Danny can't seem to keep his grubby hands off of the ones he's already ruined. _

_Love,_

_Elizabeth Taylor Mellark_

"Sorry," I tried sheepishly.

"It's not the doll, Daniel. It's the people. Santa never brought them."

"Maybe they didn't want to come," I told her. She let out an aggravated sigh.

"You don't get it!" She screamed. "He didn't bring them because he doesn't exist!"

"Shut up!" I screamed right back at her. "I don't care if you don't believe in him but I do! He's the only thing I have left on Christmas."

"Fine," she put her hands up. "I give up. Ask any adult if they believe in Santa Clause. I can guarantee they don't! Even Haymitch said so!"

"Haymitch doesn't know anything about Christmas!"

"And neither do you."

**~Hey guys, lot's of people are doing little Cristmas stories so I decided to try one. Though, it didn't get a very happy ending. I may add something on to it to make it more cheerful, and Christmas-y, but for now, Happy Holdidays, and Merry Christmas!**

**-Em**

**BTW: I beleieve in Santa :D **


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